Wednesday, 10 May 2017

Post 50: What Has Been Seen Cannot Be Unseen

Hi guys,

The inspiration for this week’s post was forced upon one me a few nights ago. Rumblings in a not so far off place startled me; no, not from the recesses of my deep, dark mind, but my neighbour’s bedroom. While it would certainly be interesting to start this topic off with a tall story of hanky-panky, and the accompanying unspoken yet heavily implied high-fives the next day, the truth was much more mundane: their snoring woke me up. No big deal? Everyone snores now and then, and waking up for a few minutes then going back to sleep won’t hurt you right?. At this point you’re probably thinking: snoring can’t be seen, and you would be correct! But this is just the hook I’m throwing out to reel you in...

Now, this happens often enough that I’ve procured a handy set of earplugs and an eye cover (ironically, the brand is bedtime bliss… - C) which tide me over and allow my beauty sleep (as if I need one! - C). Without these handy tools, I’d be royally screwed, and to be honest sleep is one of the things I am most sensitive to. I can eat badly by my own standards for a day or two and feel subpar, or even a week and feel pretty bad, but after one night’s bad sleep my vitality goes down the pan. I’d be royally screwed because once I hear that awful roar, I can’t unhear it. A peaceful slumber would be beyond me and be replaced with a constant up and down battle to re-enter REM sleep’s warm embrace.

The big question is: why does it bother me so much? And I mean “so much” as in beyond the fact that I was woken up and had my sleep affected. It bothers me so much because there’s a problem that the person has done nothing to solve (and unwittingly triggered my saviour complex aka an enormous ego which obviously knows best! -C) . What’s the cause of the snoring? Is it smoking, drinking, being overweight, etc? Fair enough if it’s hereditary, but wouldn’t that mean the problem would always have been there? I doubt it’s the latter. I’m time and again forced into the realisation that most people prefer to suffer.

And that’s exactly why this post is titled in such a manner. Once you’re aware of something, it becomes very hard to ignore it, especially when you look at yourself and say “well I’d just do X,Y,Z and the problem would be solved”, which leads to irritation where you can’t do anything to solve it. Once you start to lose weight, you judge what everyone else is doing and can start to diagnose their problems. The truth is that if they had the same drive and resources as you, they probably would have solved their issue already.

So when you see that someone has actively chosen not to deal with their problem, and have accepted their woe as “just another part of life”, then you can’t help but feel contempt (especially when you acknowledge that down the road, you are the insurer of their bad decisions). I hold the people who diagnose and attempt to address their own problems in the highest regard. Success in their efforts is not a prerequisite; the attempt is what counts.

If you’re someone who can just look over it, then great, although the person suffering will try and milk you for pity so that they can feed off the attention. My tried and tested tactic is just to ignore them: non-reactivity is key. I’ve also created a win-win environment for myself by seeing the situation this way: either they ask for help and you participate in their results and their happiness, or they continue with their “woe is me” mindset and you have one more person to look good in comparison to. Try and cut these people out of your life as much as possible. I’m betting that even as you read this, certain people come to mind who you would love to help but they are constantly self-sabotaging. Deep down you know they have to go, whether it’s now or further down the line. That includes anything you consume (even this blog! - C).

In the meantime, while you’re building up the courage to cut away negative influences, do whatever you can for yourself: stop consuming the media that makes you despair and minimise the possible impact that other people’s bad choices can have on you. Take my noisy neighbours: I could have done nothing and shot them the ol’ stink eye every time I saw them. Instead I’ve taken action to minimise the negative externalities.

To anyone who’ll tell you you’re selfish, remember that in your life you are number one, and everyone else is the supporting actor to the movie written, directed and starring you (not that kind of movie! ;) - C).

This week’s takeaways:
  1. If something’s bothering you, do the most you can yourself to get rid of the negative externalities they’re creating.
  2. Build up the courage to cut ties with the negative influences in your life; stick to your guns and if they want to be part of your life they’ll change.
  3. Don’t allow other people’s “woe is me” mindset to affect you by ignoring them; their actions feed off of your attention.

And there you have it, post 50. If you liked this post, leave a comment down below. If you hated it, leave a comment down below. If you felt indifferent, leave a comment down below. If someone else’s comment offends you in some way, comment and start a flame war. Basically, just comment.

Until next time,


  1. Could your neighbour be unaware that they are snoring? Give them an opportunity to do something about it by telling them you can hear them?

    1. Hmm, you'd have to think so! I've promised myself next time I see them I'll bring it up :)